This blog post is almost solely dedicated to how I feel myself fighting each day to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As most of you know, Andrew and I are in Minot, North Dakota. Even now it is hard to believe we are actually living here. But in moving here I have changed my life around in order for Andrew to start his. Over the summer it seemed like things were pretty chill, other than the flood of course. I had just two summer classes and the rest of the time I felt like I did nothing. Oh how I wish things could be like that. Now I have am going to school and started cross-country. It might not seem like a big deal but it is...
School, cross-country, being married, taking care of a dog, along with other stressors....is a lot for me. Especially when I feel l will NEVER be done with school. Next semester I am applying for the nursing program here at Minot State University but I won't be able to start till next August. And the program itself is 5 semesters. Perhaps now you can see why I feel like my life has not really started yet. On top of that tuition is so much more expensive! It is no Stanford but it isn't the low cost of BYU either. Meaning school books and the extra tuition cost, even with a scholarship, is a bit much.
And then there is cross-country. The kryptonite of my existence sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love running and I get paid to do it. But when you have to practice 6 days a week for at least 2 hours a day (sometimes at 7:00am) and have to schedule the rest of your day around it, it kind of stinks. Plus since we live on base I have an extra 20 min each day to drive.
Now on to Andrew's fun life. He starts work at 7:00am and works till 5:00pm. A regular work day right? Until they have inspections( which feels like they happen every two weeks) and is required to always be on call in case of a substance leak somewhere. So last week he had work on Saturday and today he may be out at work till at least 10:00pm because of an inspection. I know I shouldn't complain because at least he has a job (which he actually enjoys). But for all those who understand the military will know that the "benefits" we receive through the Air Force is actually compensation.
As I finish writing this I realize how silly it all seems. I need to be grateful for all the things I do have! My family is awesome and always there for me, I have a loving husband, a beautiful house, and in 3 years I will be looking back saying how fast the end of school went by. I guess I will just have to wait till then. But in the meantime I have learned that I need to live life in moment. Enjoy the scenery as it passes me by. Do the best in everything I do now. Instead of telling myself "if only I was done with school" or "I can't wait till my final running season is over and things will be easier" or the best " I will do that when this happens"...I need to be enjoying life now. Not waiting to do life when "life gets easier" because it never will.
The present really is a gift I need to take advantage of. So thanks for listening to the ramblings of a stressed soul... The fact that I realize I need to just roll with the punches shows that at least I can change right?:D ha ha.
Here is exactly what popped into my head, and will stay with me the rest of day...
I thought it was fitting:)
Love,
