The Woman Who Waited

First, I was dying to finish high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
And then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow up and get out the house.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now, I am dying…and suddenly I realize I forgot to live.”

I came across this poem a little while ago and suddenly felt how incredibly true these words are for me.  I have always been a Type A, overachieving, fast-paced, always-need-to-be-doing something person.  "Taking time to smell the flowers" has never really applied to time. I was in school for years and then I finally graduate, after that I went right into studying for the NCLEX.  After that I was getting ready to move to Germany. 

And right now? I am sitting typing at my computer thinking about how all I want to do is to be doing something "productive".  I have been in Germany for two weeks now and am waiting and wondering what do I do?  For once in my life I don't have a "set in stone" plan.  I always knew before what I had coming next.  I have some leads as far as work but it is still a process to get started. It is easy to say well "why don't you do this?" or "why don't you do that?".  But it isn't always that easy.  

However, in saying those negative words, I realize I should "find joy in the journey". There are other things I can do!  It may not be in said "plan", but, right now, I have decided to live.  To travel, volunteer, try new things, be a better wife, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter.  I have the rest of my life to work and worry so instead of focusing so much on the future and "dying" to accomplish things, I am going "to live"!  

Attitude

There once were two men.  These two men happened to both relocating for their jobs in a new city.  One day the first man, now wandering about the new city, happened to come upon an old man sitting on a bench.  He went over the old man and sat down next to him.  He asked him, "My family and I are moving to this new city and wanted to know what it was like."  The old man thought for a moment, and replied with a question, "Well why don't you tell me about what your old city was like?"  The first man said, "Our old city was terrible.  We didn't really get out a lot and no body ever talked to us. We just felt unhappy the whole time we lived there.  We are more than happy to move."  The old man simply replied, "Well I am sorry to say, but this new city will be exactly what you described."

The following week the second man happened to stumble across the same old man.  He went over, sat down, and said, "My family and I are moving to this new city and wanted to know what it was like." The old man thought for a moment, and replied with a question, "Well why don't you tell me about what your old city was like?" The second man replied, "We are so sad to be leaving our old home.  The people were friendly with lots to do.  We made lots of friends and felt like we made a home there.  We are sad to say goodbye."  The old man simply smiled and replied, "Well I am happy to say this city will be exactly like that."

Attitude really is everything.  At times it is easy to look at our lives and feel we are accomplishing nothing.  When I first heard we were moving to North Dakota I was not excited at all. As bad as it is to say, I thought we were going to a barren wasteland far from family and friends.  But, after hearing this story I took a step back at my life.  North Dakota and our time here will be based on our own actions rather than the location.  Already I can see the blessing from moving here.  We have an AMAZING ward family.  People in general are very friendly.  I was able to get a scholarship for xc and track.  I may be starting the nursing program.  Andrew has a head start in his job in the Air Force because of this base and we have an amazing home.  I could go on and on but despite the negative aspects I could say about this place it is up to me to be positive about the things I can control.

Who know how long we will be here but I can't imagine living in a way where I leave with regrets.  Already this Winter is no where near as harsh as I heard.  The sun is shining with hardly any snow on the ground.  It only went int the -30's for a week!  Talk about a blessing.  Somebody is obviously smiling down on us knowing that I need to be worked in nice and easy to this kind of climate.  

But overall, I hope to continue to try to have a good attitude.  There are positive things no matter what circumstances you live in.  I can't fathom feeling down all the time because of my circumstances.  That is no way to live!  So I will continue to smile and make the most of my life right now!

Love,

The Anderson's